December 27, 2020

Dear Eva, It’s been a year. I’ve been so silent here and in ways it’s been a blessing and in others, a curse. I think with everything happening around us in the early parts of the year it was just so hard to articulate my feelings. I needed to process things on my own, in … More December 27, 2020

May 9, 2020

Dear Eva, Hey Turkey Bird. Rough day, today. I miss you and my heart hurts. I’ve been teary since first thing this morning. Most of the time I can’t identify a clear trigger. Today I know exactly what set me off. It’s Mother’s Day weekend and that in itself is hard. The trigger, though, came … More May 9, 2020

April 23, 2020

Dear Eva, Hey beautiful baby, I’m missing you a lot today. I’ve been teary and sad most of the day. Being cooped up in this empty house all day makes it so hard to deal with all these emotions. Daddy has gone back to work, leaving Mommy working from the house all day by myself. … More April 23, 2020

April 9, 2020

Dear Eva, I sure miss you, my baby girl. We’ve been “isolated” now for three weeks. These three weeks of being home constantly have been really hard. Daddy has been home too and that helps. Your absence feels about 100x more heavy these days though. I haven’t spent this much time at home without leaving … More April 9, 2020

March 10, 2020

Dear Eva, Hey Baby!! I miss you so much! I haven’t felt like writing for so long but tonight I really feel like telling a story. It’s actually two stories, and might turn into 17 mini stories. So hang on for the ride. To start I have to go back to September 2018. In September … More March 10, 2020

January 17, 2020

Dear Eva, Ever been in the shower, on your knees, just letting the water pelting you? Running over your head, tears running down your face faster? Knowing that you aren’t broken, but feeling like you are completely in pieces, all over that shower floor? This is what my grief looks like some days. This week … More January 17, 2020

January 11, 2020

Dear Eva, It’s a new year. A second full year without you here. Another book of 365 empty pages lays in front of us. I hate that I don’t get to write you name in the day to day of those 365 pages. I find New Years harder than Christmas. It’s incredibly hard to begin … More January 11, 2020

November 13, 2019

Dear Eva, I miss you so much. I’ve been struggling a lot lately and sitting down to write to you is very long over due. Today was a breaking point for me. I woke up with my fitbit reading my heart rate at over 100 and feeling extremely jittery. It’s been so long since I’ve … More November 13, 2019

Child Loss & Change

Dear Eva, Change. One little word that holds a lot of power over our lives. Lots of times change can be an incredible thing. Change can be happy and exciting. Our lives change for the better often – new jobs, marriage, babies, new friends, new dreams. There are so many positive things about change. Sometimes … More Child Loss & Change