September 18, 2018

Dear Eva, Hi Baby Girl. I miss you. I’m oddly relaxed tonight, enjoying some TV time with Daddy. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about your disease and I’ve come to realize that maybe that is the main source of my anxiety the last little while. I think it’s time that I get some of … More September 18, 2018

September 17, 2018

Dear Eva, I’ve been MIA again – I know. I feel that I’ve regressed a bit in my grief and am feeling like anything I write here will be monotonous and that I’ll just be beating a dead horse. I’m feeling stuck and isolated. The anxiety has been all consuming again for the last few … More September 17, 2018

September 5, 2018

Dear Eva, Lonely. I can spend my days surrounded by people and still feel so lonely. You left a huge hole in my heart. I’m so lonely and empty now that I really don’t recognize the person looking back at me in the mirror any more. I feel so much different without you here. I … More September 5, 2018

August 29, 2018

Dear Eva, My heart is racing and the panic is setting in. I keep telling my self – breath through it, let yourself feel it. Sometimes that works but tonight it isn’t. The darkness is closing in and hurting my heart feircely. Why you? Why us? Why now? Where do we go from here? What … More August 29, 2018

August 27, 2018

Dear Eva, I miss you so much, Cutie Pie. Mama did a good thing today. I donated blood for the first time ever today. While you were sick you received so many blood products. At this point I really can’t remember how many infusions exactly but I think it was over 10 including all the … More August 27, 2018

August 26, 2018

Dear Eva, I’m struggling today. We’ve been so busy again the last couple weeks and coming off of that high is causing a major crash both physically and mentally. My anxiety has taken hold of me and I’ve been very aware of such and trying hard to rest and just let the feelings come.  It’s … More August 26, 2018

August 14, 2018

Dear Eva, Hey Baby Girl! Mama misses you so much! I need to write to you more often, I know that it helps me and gets me through the tough patches. I’ve been struggling with the direction to take to blog the last little while. Putting this all out there comes with some risk of … More August 14, 2018