September 19, 2018

Dear Eva,

Hey pretty girl! I miss you. I know that there are so many people that miss you. So many people that think about you everyday. So many people feel so close to you, and I know that is because you smiled at everyone you ever met and you always made people feel like they had known you forever. Your personality was infectious. You had a way of making everyone around you so happy and calm. You weren’t just a toddler, you were a little person, an old soul. As I look back I know your soul chose this journey because it was wise enough to know how to teach us all the lessons we needed to learn in your short years. I find so much comfort in that. So much peace in knowing that our souls agree to our journeys. Our souls chose each other. Powerful stuff.

These days it’s all about finding peace. Any way I can find a little peace I will take it. Sometimes it’s little things like lady bugs and fancy bath bombs, other days I need to look for bigger things, like the soul theories. Some days I go all day without feeling lost and some days I wake up lost. So unpredictable, such is life I guess. You know Mama is a planner, so this is hard. Although planning does help the really hard days. Planning ahead gives the days focus and a little less unpredictability. Planning ahead gives me peace.

I had a producer ask about you today. It gives me comfort knowing that my farmers think of you too. That they take the time to ask how mama and daddy are doing. They care. It really has showed me how much of a relationship I’ve built with many of these producers. Many of them are becoming like family, too. I’ve truly be humbled by all the good we’ve got to witness in our darkest days. People that really reach out and really WANT to take care of us. People that drop their stuff to listen to my stuff. It’s beautiful. It’s a tiny bit of hope in this big scary world. I’ll take any kind of hope I can get.

I’ll love you forever and ever sweet cheeks. I will always hope and pray that you know just how loved you are. If love could have saved you – you know the rest. I LOVE YOU!

Love and Kisses,

Your Mama.

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