May 11, 2018

Dear Eva,

I miss you, every single day, all day. I close my eyes and I see your smile and hear your beautiful laugh. I feel you in the warmth of the sun and the feather light touch of a lady bug on my arm. I know that all you would want is to see a smile on your mama’s face, but sometimes its just so hard. The longing is so strong, the physical pull of wanting you with me is so very very strong and very very real. I would give anything to hold you and “wok in the wokin’ chair” one more time. If I had any idea that I’d never get to do it again, man… I would have sat there all night. Feel your hair, kiss your forehead, just spend hours loving your sweet self.

Yesterday, almost 2 whole moths after the fact, I had to tell a coworker you are gone. That is hard – every time, I think years from now I won’t want to tell anybody about this. Andy was so upset, hurt and worried for your mama. Feeling his own pain for asking in a large crowd. I am able to talk about it with people and work through it. Andy is an amazing person and is so kind to your mama, you would have liked him.

Eva, Mama wants you to know that while we all hurt so bad right now, we are surviving this for you. You are our hero. 100%, no questions asked, you are my hero, my favorite angel. You made your mama the person I am now. I want you here more than anything but I know deep within my heart that you are going to guide your dad and I through this.

We love you, We love you, We love you!!

Love and Kisses,

Your Mama

 

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